Who’s In Charge Here?

By Keith Varnum

     Watch your thoughts. They become words.
     Watch your words. They become actions.
     Watch your actions. They become habits.
     Watch your habits. They become character.
     Watch your character. It becomes your destiny.

                                                     - Frank Outlaw

 Do you sometimes feel that your life is totally out of your control? That you aren’t in charge of anything that happens to you? I certainly understand how you could have that reaction to life. I feel that way part of every day!

Yes, on the most basic level, our personality is not running the show. The soul calls the shots behind the scenes. Yet, allowing the soul to guide it, the personality can feel—and be—in control.

When a Hollywood movie is being made, the most important question to be decided is: “Who is going to have ‘creative control’ of the final cut?” Your life is a movie. Your movie. You have the final say over the final version—day by day as you choose what to believe, speak and do.

As the outer emissary of the soul, your personality is in command of 10 crucial aspects of your everyday life. You are in charge of these critical aspects of your life:

1. What you think.

What thoughts are you paying attention to? Every moment you decide what ideas and beliefs to give your attention to—that is, where to send your creative energy. You can do this by default, allowing your psychological and social conditioning to choose for you what to think. Or you can take back the power from the your psychological and social programming. Sure, the influence of your unconscious mind is strong, but there are now available very effective techniques to free yourself from the tyranny of your conditioned mind. You’re in charge of whether to learn and use these tools.

2. What you speak.

You have even easier control over the words you utter or write. You don’t have to speak what you’re thinking or feeling. You can choose to share only when you are intuitively clear about what and how you want to express a point of view. If you haven’t yet freed yourself from a certain rigid or emotional opinion, you can decide to hold your peace. Jesus said, “It is not what you put into your mouth that’s important. It is what comes out that matters.”

3. How you act.

You don’t have to act on what you think or feel. Be proactive, break free of your unconscious programming, and choose consciously which beliefs to energize into action in your life. Before you act, take the time to run your proposed behavior by your intuition. Take the care to go to your inner knowing to see if the actions you’re contemplating truly serve you and the highest good of all concerned. You do have the ability to postpone taking action until you’re clear on the most loving and harmonious way to proceed.

4. Where you live.

You do have a real choice about the physical environment around you. The atmosphere—energy, vibration—of your home, yard, neighborhood and town all influence you greatly on a daily basis. You have a sense of what natural elements give you energy, and which ones drain your aliveness and clarity. Choose a living space that has the kind of sounds, colors, greenery and amenities that nurture your spirit.

5. What you do for work.

Many people like to overlook this one. It’s easy to get social agreement with "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, talent or training.” Yes, most of us were presented a very limited view of our options for making a living. And, with the help of friends, mentors, workshops, books and the internet, you can discover a way to make a very good income doing some activity that you enjoy. Coaching is a booming business because folks are discovering that they have a lot more choice in life than they were ever told—or that they ever imagined!

6. Who you hang with.

My teacher Lester is fond of saying, “Hang with the Holies!” He’s suggesting that you hang out with people on your same wavelength, who want what you want from life, and who support you in fulfilling your dreams. Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. Be selective. Be generous with yourself. Don’t settle for less than you deserve in friends.

7. Where you spend your time.

You choose how to "spend" your time. You decide how much of your time to give to various activities. There are 168 hours in a week. Say you work 40 and sleep 48 hours a week. That leaves you 80 free hours a week to eat, play and enjoy any way you choose. Yes, you need to be very creative to break out of old social habits—and very clear and strong to break free of family “obligations.” You can do it. Your health and enjoyment in life are at stake. And as you relish each moment of life more, you’ll want to—and be able to—sleep less. That allows for more hours to have fun and do what you want each day!

8. How you spend your money.

Having or not having enough money is the result of what you make versus what you spend. Spend your money on activities and products that not only nurture you at the time but that keep on giving. Expensive, one-shot events are fun and exciting, but investing in a gym membership, musical instrument or self-improvement course is funding your on-going happiness. And, by the Universal Law of Attraction, the more you do what is intuitively right for yourself, the more the resources will come to you to be able to continue to nurture your true spirit.

9. What you eat.

You can choose to eat to live, rather than living to eat. The true purpose of food is to give us the energy to express our unique spirit fully. Food is not just physical. Everything we take into our energy field is food—for our body and for our soul. Every thought, conversation and activity either gives us energy, or takes energy away from us. Self-loving people only eat—take in—those interactions and pursuits that nourish them and increase their level of aliveness. Take in those foods, people and endeavors that you most easily digest, assimilate and integrate. Take in only the amount of worldly nourishment, resources and social exchange that is ideal for peak performance. Chew or contemplate well any experience or information before you swallow or believe it—that is, take it in as part of you. With this approach you’re intuitively prescreening ideas, interactions and events before you allow them to become part of your body or belief system—and, therefore, part of your personal reality! Lean and clean. Only imbibe foods—and people and pursuits—that nurture you and your dreams.

10. How you are experienced.

By intuitively and creatively choosing your beliefs, words and actions, you create the quality of your interactions with others. You develop your character—to be savored by you and others. It is your evolving authentic character that is your destiny—and the unique gift you give to the world and yourself!